Tags: fangirl confessions

year of the cat

We finally got a piece of the pie

This was the weekend of deliveries. First to arrive was my new Tough Traveler backpack. It's royal blue with black trim and it's so much bigger than I was expecting. That will certainly come in handy when I fly to Europe in the fall. I'll have plenty of room to pack at least 2 days worth of clothes if my baggage gets lost in transit.

My new living room set arrived Saturday. We carefully measured out the room before we went shopping and the furniture at the store, but the room feels almost too full now that it's here. Not that I'm complaining. After 10 years of a crummy futon, a couch and love seat, both with reclining bits, are amazing. The love seat even has a built-in cup holders and a hidden compartment in the arm rest for remotes and knitting paraphernalia so the cats don't keep knocking them over and batting them across the floor.

Last night I finished working on my remix fic. I'll give it one last looking over tonight before I post it. I read through the prompts for the madness round and have a tentative idea for that too. I just need to check the deadlines to make sure I have time to watch a few episodes for research purposes and write the thing.

Now that remix is out of the way, I think I'll sign up for the Netflix Originals Exchange. Sign-ups close on August 31st  and only 9 people have signed up so far. Expect to see my letter soon and maybe write one of your own.

year of the cat

I love your for psychological reasons

The fandoms as relationships meme is going around and, since I've never played, I thought I might jump on that bandwagon.

The one who seduced you, screwed you over, broke your heart in a million pieces, and laughed about it.

If you'd asked me two years ago, I would have said Supernatural, but now I'm going to have to go with Star Wars. I fell hard and fast for Star wars after TFA. I went out and bought literally every film and cartoon within weeks of seeing it in the theaters, yes, even the 2003 Clone Wars. I bought a bunch of tie-in books and comics and read and wrote so much fic. Then three things happened in quick succession: 1) Rian Johnson and TLJ took a massive dump on the sequel trilogy and several legacy characters; 2) Dave Filoni and Rebels killed Kanan Jarrus; and 3) my dad died. My interest in the fandom fell off a cliff and remaining engaged was huge struggle I somehow felt compelled make. To this day, I still couldn't tell you how much of my broken heart is down to shitty authorial choices and how much is just tangled up in grief for my dad. Either way, I can't even muster up an ounce of anticipation for the last of the sequel films.

The old flame you don't see very often any more but whom you still really enjoy getting together with for a few drinks and maybe a pleasant nostalgic romp:

Avatar and I very much have this relationship. I occasionally drop in to say hi to Harry Potter as well, but it's not quite the same.

The mysterious dark one whom you used to sit up with talking until 3 AM at weird coffee houses and with whom you were quite smitten until you realized they really were fucking crazy:

Supernatural. I tried to watch some of the later seasons on Netflix and it's just a big old WTF!!!!!!!

The one you spent a whole weekend in bed with and who drank up all your liquor and whom you'd still really like to get with again, although you're relieved they don't actually live in town:

I don't really know. I don't think I have a fandom like that.

The steady:

Weirdly, I think it might be Batman comics, or at least fic about Batman comics. I've basically stopped actually reading anything by DC (again), but I do enjoy their fic versions and have been steadily writing my own since 2013.

I'd also say Agent Carter, more on the writing than the reading front. I've been writing at least one fic a year for that fandom since the show came out which feels pretty steady to me.

The alluring stranger whom you've flirted with at parties but have never gotten really serious with:

Pretty much every fandom lately. Seriously, ever since my break up with Star Wars I've been checking out the AO3 offerings for every show I at least half-way enjoyed. I think I tried Roswell, New Mexico the longest, but lost interest after a month and never wrote for any of it.

The one you hang out with and have vague fantasies about maybe having a thing with, but ultimately you're just good buddies:

The MCU. I've (mostly) enjoyed the films and fic, but I've never been bit by the writing bug for this fandom.

The one your friends keep introducing you to and who seems like a hell of a cool person except it's never really gone anywhere:

Good Omens. Everyone and their mother is gushing about it right now on tumblr and, while I certainly enjoyed the book and series, it didn't really click for me on an emotional level.

The one who's slept with all your friends, and you keep looking at them and thinking, "How the hell did they land all these cool people?"

RPF. I remember back in my Supernatural days that there were certain segments of fandom that were hard core into this and I just did not see the appeal of treating actual humans as characters.

The one who gave you the best damned summer of your life and against whom you measure all other potential partners:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. HP was the first fandom I read for, but Buffy was the first I wrote for. I loved the open on sunday drabbles challenges. I loved Twisting the Hellmouth. I loved Liz Marcs and Newhepcat and a bunch of people I recall fondly from my LJ days. I haven't watched the show in ages and I'm sure both it and fandom and the fandom experience is no where near as good as I remember, but damn, did Buffy give me some good memories.

The one you recently met at a party and would like to get to know better:

She-Ra & the Princesses of Power maybe? I enjoyed the first two seasons, but season 3 was freaking amazing. I'm feeling really into meta-ing about it, but am strangely uninterested in fic.

Or maybe Umbrella Academy. I've been reading and writing more of this lately, but I really need more from it. Is season 2 out yet? Why can't we go back to the days when we had a steady stream of content to keep our interests alive?

The old flame that you wouldn't totally object to hooking up with again for a one night romp if only they'd clean up a bit:

Misfits. I liked it back when it aired and keep find myself reading it again and again and wondering what the fuck I'm thinking. Re-watching is even worse considering everything past episode 2.1 fills me with a weird sort of disappointment shading into anger.

Your hot new flame:

I don't have one at the present and it's been getting me down. Oh, cupid, when will you send me a new hyper-fixation to mend my broken heart?

The one who stole your significant other:

Probably Good Omens again. Everyone I followed for one thing over on tumblr has been posting nothing but this for months now.  Where's my regularly scheduled content, bitches? I care not for these angels and demons.

year of the cat

Running on Empty

As you may have noticed, lately I've really been struggling on the creative juices front. After my break-up with Star Wars, I have yet to really settle on a new fandom obsession. To that end, in the vain hopes that I may be inspired, I've signed up for the latest round of [community profile] hc_bingo . Thanks to [personal profile] sholio, I've also started making eyes at [community profile] fandomgiftbox and [community profile] multifandomdrabble too. I used to drabble like a champ back in my Buffy days. I still have a few days to decide on those.

Anyhow, hurt-comfort bingo card bellow the cut. Feel free to drop me a fandom- or character-specific prompt in the comments.

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year of the cat

The Big Reveal

A couple of exchanges went live yesterday, so now that I've had time to read them, I figured I'd share my favorites.

Hurt Comfort Exchange

I actually participated in this one! I can't show you mine yet because the authors are still a secret, but I got a really swell gift.

All Similar Sorrow - Gwen struggles during an anniversary. Peter can relate. (Spiderman: Into the Spider-verse)
Gwen and Peter bond over getting the alternate versions of their friends killed and its touching and cathartic.

Other stuff from the exchange you should check out includes:

Looking for My Happiness Now
- A mishap reverts Peter's body to his 16 year old self. But this story is about Gwen Stacy. (Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse) Another Gwen and Peter bond over getting the alternate versions of their friends killed story and I could literally read a million of them if they were all this good.

Dreaming of Yesterday - Vanya wakes up in her thirteen-year-old body after Five has time-traveled them as the world was ending. None of the others seem to have their adult memories, and being the only adult in a group of teenagers will give Vanya a new perspective on her siblings. (Umbrella Academy) Vanya gets her youth back and grows the hell up.

Wayback Exchange

I thought long and hard about signing up for this, but it came due at the same time as the Hurt Comfort Exchange, so I didn't. It was probably a good choice considering how hard I struggled to find the motivation to write anything in the last couple of months. Still, there was some really fun stuff in there. Here are my top three.

Be It Ever So Humble -"Can't be homesick when you're home," Kaylee says. The captain doesn't say anything, but from the proud look on his face, he agrees. "Maybe don't tell your Daddy that." (Firefly) Lovely character study of our favorite mechanic.

Makeshift League - It's good for them. That doesn't mean they are good at it. (DC Animated Universe: Timmverse) In which Bruce/Lois/Clark are an endearingly dysfunctional threesome.

A Mouse in the White House - The Brain has a plan to take over the world, starting with the Oval Office. But dealing with the 45th President might be harder than anticipated. (Pinky and the Brain) Blistering political satire featuring everyone's favorite lab rats and least favorite president.

year of the cat

I'm Awake, I'm Alive

Woe, it sure has been a while. I keep telling myself I'll get on here and write, but then I never do. Last week I managed to eek out my story for the Hurt/Comfort exchange, but in general I've been terribly unmotivated when it comes to fandom for the last couple of months. Still I've got some ideas for metas I've been kicking around. Send my some encouragement and I may even write them!

1. The parentification of Adora and how that has impacted her character in terms of her anxiety and the pressure she puts on her self. (She-Ra)

2. The parentification of Luther and how that has impacted his character and how he relates to his siblings (Umbrella Academy)

3. Light Spinner/Shadow Weaver and her mentoring style with Mickah, Catra, and Adora (She-Ra). Side note, Taylor Gray, don't ever stop playing naive young things being lead into morally questionable things by dark mentors.

4. Diego in the Police Academy and what it says about his backstory (Umbrella Academy)
year of the cat

A Foolish April

April was a singularly unproductive month. I only managed one story. One. I mean, yeah, I was busy with conferences and Passover, but I just was not feeling the creativity. Anyhow, here's wonderwall:

Peanut Butter and Marshmallows
Umbrella Academy
Stuck in the apocalypse, Five reads about Vanya leaving him sandwiches.

Way back in March, there were like four different fic exchanges due in early May I thought about signing up for. Luckily, I only signed up for one: the hurt/comfort exchange. Unluckily, I still have no freaking clue what I'm writing for it. Like, at all. And instead of re-watching the shows for it, I've gone and picked up Fortitude. Someone, please help jump start my creativity. It's due on May 10th and I don't even have a basic premise!

year of the cat

All my fields are fallow

I was just reading some post on Tumblr about the necessity of rotating your mental crops and accepting that sometimes your creativity goes fallow. A nice thought, but, man, being fallow sucks. I've got a story for the hurt/comfort exchange due at the start of May and I've got nothing.

Part of the problem is that I'm sort of between fandom right now. Star Wars has pretty much dried up and while I've been reading everything Umbrella Academy I can, nothing is clicking on my head. Anyone else get like this? What do you do when your fields are fallow and your well runs dry?
year of the cat

A thousand generations live in you now

So, you may have heard the new Star Wars teaser is out. I want to be more excited about it than I am.

Growing up, I was not a Star Wars fan. I'd seen the OT, we had a bootlegged copy of the Ewok Adventure my dad recorded off tv and the free Return of the Jedi glasses from Pizza Hut, but I wasn't a fan. I watched the movies when they were on, but they never captured my imagination. I didn't write fic or seek out any of the tie in material. I never got around to seeing the Prequels or cartoons. I just didn't care about the franchise.

Then I saw The Force Awakens and Star Wars devoured my brain. I started writing fic, I bought DVDs of everything, and a bunch of new EU tie-in stuff. I watched Rogue One in theaters twice! I'd never ever done that before. I was well and truly obsessed.

Then The Last Jedi happened and all that love just curdled. I've broken up with fandom before. Buffy and I slowly drifted apart after the show went off the air. I dumped Supernatural's dumb ass after it hurt me one too many times. I don't want TLJ to have ruined Star Wars for me. I want to keep loving it, I want to be excited. But I'm not and it breaks my heart.
year of the cat

The trenches of Vietnam

In the interests of being a bit more consistent with my posting, I've decided to try to post more than once or twice a week. Unfortunately, there's not really much going on in my life worth posting about. Instead, today I'm going to rant about my biggest fanfic pet peeve: the lack of basic research.

Research is my jam and also my job. When writing fic, I re-watch, re-read, and check all the fandom wikis to make sure I've got the voices and details just right. For stuff set in the real(ish) world, I've researched everything from a particular Marine unit's timeline in Vietnam to the layout of a historic cemetery in Baltimore. Once, I spent a day at a university library reading an ethnography of an obscure cult in Benin for a story I never actually got around to writing. So, yeah, when it comes to pre-writing research, I go hard.

And that's why it bothers me so much when it's clear that other people just haven't bothered. I'm not talking obscure details here or HP fandom Brit-picking. Yesterday, I read a fic where the author was under the impression that London was on the ocean. The Umbrella Academy fandom has seemingly decided en mas that there was trench warfare in Vietnam. I just---why? WHY?! It's not like they have to hit the library to clear up these weird misconceptions when Wikipedia and the internet are right there!

Look, I get it. Not everyone has the time or inclination to do the same crazy levels of deep dives as me. I get that half of my obsession with researching the details is just another way of procrastinating. I get it, but that doesn't stop me from dying a little inside every time there's a bank open on a Sunday morning or someone is knitting with a crochet hook. Or trenches in Vietnam. God, I still can't get over that.

What bugs you the most fanfic-wise? Spot any try egregious research fails you want to taunt me with?
year of the cat

You know I see dead people, I just tell 'em get a life

After spending the weekend obsessively listening to the Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse soundtrack my head is filled with ideas. Someone, please stop me from making a Bei Fong ladies tribute vid to Jaden Smith's "Way Up" or a Luke Skywalker one to Lil Wayne & Ty Dolla $ign's "Scared of the Dark." Baring that, please someone give me practical advice on how to make it happen.